An Offer You Can't Refuse

Organized crime figure Chris Columbo claims that he helped kill a story in the Times Union in the late 1990's for a mob associate. This according to federal prosecutors, who told the Daily News that Columbo said, "He had a hook in the newspaper." Columbo's price for helping edit the paper? 15 thousand clams ---that's mob talk for dollars. TU editor Rex Smith, who was not in charge of the paper during that period, told the News:

"I'd be shocked out of my socks that anyone at the Albany Times Union got money to downplay a story. I think this is idle boasting. It's hogwash."

Whether it be hogwash, balderdash, or bunkum, the paper is investigating.

The Sweepys

Every ratings period, we're on the lookout for the story that goes above and beyond all others, taking local broadcast news to places it's never gone. It is for that extraordinary effort that we award The Sweepy. I am happy to announce that the winner of the November Sweepy is WRGB's expose titled Secret Society.

Secret Society was an hidden camera tour of local mens rooms where "Gay men, bisexual men, married men, and professional men do very private acts in public places." By private acts, they mean have sex, not take a crap. In the still frame below, one of the alleged bathroom perverts reaches out to grope a CBS 6 photog. Just wait until the next contract negotiations come along!

WRGB's Rene Marsh was the lucky reporter who got to pull bathroom duty on the story; she uttered the single best line of the whole month when she explained that, "Where they meet is jawdropping." Indeed. In the intro to part one, Greg Floyd intoned, "CBS 6 has learned there are some public restrooms in the malls that you might not want to let your children wander into alone." No. There might be sex crazed maniacs in there. Or a CBS 6 hidden camera. Watch part two here.

Big Time

WTEN meteorologist Jeff Smith is leaving the station to do weekend mornings at WABC in New York. Smith holds the distinction of being the only weatherman in the market with a degree from an Ivy League school. Who are you going to believe? Someone with a diploma from Cornell, or a guy with a mail order "Certificate of Broadcast Meteorology" from Mississippi State University?

Why I Love Vermont

Vermont isn't like another state, it's like another country. Where else can you buy a bunch of handguns without a permit in the morning and go get yourself a same sex marriage in the afternoon? Of all the Green Mountain State's idiosyncrasies, this may be the most interesting: you can be admitted to the bar in Vermont without ever graduating from college. I'm not talking about no law school, I'm talking about no undergraduate degree. The state is one of seven in the union that allow you to apprentice under a lawyer for a period of time, a practice known as "reading the law". After that, pass the bar exam and poof, you're a lawyer. It sounds odd, but some say that law school teaches you to take the bar exam, while an apprenticeship teaches you to be a lawer.

It's not going to get you a job at a huge law firm like White and Case, but even the best education can't guarantee that.

Rosebud...

It's not every day that you get a chance to see one of the greatest movies ever made on a big screen. One of those days is today. The Palace Theatre's movie series is presenting Citizen Kane tonight at the grand old movie house ---and there's also a show this afternoon if you're the sort who sneaks out of work in the middle of the day.
The Palace has actually done a pretty good job of scheduling movies; while some of the choices may be obvious, they're obvious for a reason. Among the films featured in first half of 2007 are Rear Window, Some Like it Hot, The Godfather, Apocalypse Now, and Schindler's List. Tonight's presentation of Citizen Kane is brought to you by Certified Angus Beef ---not the Times Union.

Time Wasting Central

Tuesdays are the 3am of the soul, or something like that. Let's all stick it to the man and spend the day playing Office Max's Christmas Story inspired web game Don't Shoot Your Eye Out. Gather your co-workers, compete for the highest score ---and don't forget to hit the spacebar repeatedly for extra power.

Hey, WRGB!

Yes, you. I see you over there on Balltown Road. Don't think for a minute you can hide from us, because we have some questions:

First of all, this banner has been up for like six weeks. Are you going to do this story or just talk about it?

Secondly: Has GM Bob Furlong decided again that his hard working employees don't deserve a Christmas party? Last year, Scroogey McFurlong cancelled the holiday celebration to save a few bucks for his masters at the ironically named Freedom Broadcasting. The least you can do for your employees this time of year is treat them to a meal and get them drunk, so give it up for the poor bastards who keep you in business, OK.

Third, are you guys going to taser Liz Bishop, or not? You've got ONE DAY left before sweeps ends, so it's time to shoot or get off the pot.

Geting Ink

Well, we've finally gotten that Phil Bayly tattoo nailed down (ouch!). According to a story on the WNYT page of The Hubbub, Hubbard Broadcasting's in-house newsletter, the tattoo resides on the leg of studio cameraman Nick DeMartino. All we can say, is that's some wild sh*t. Tattoos, fortunately, aren't quite as permanent as they used to be. The Hubbub asked:

Would Nick DeMartino ever consider losing his anchor tattoo? "No," he said. "Phil Bayly will always rock."

In an email to Albany Eye, DeMartino said that the the tattoo was free and, "Worth it for the laughs I got." That's funny, because that's exactly what I tell people who ask me why I write this stuff.

Rumor Mill

We really try not to print rumors here, but sometimes it's hard to resist. There have been loads of things people send in email that don't get published because they're impossible to verify. For example, am I supposed to believe that a local reporter worked as an exotic dancer? Without seeing some pictures? Please. Here are the most recent items, sanitized for the sake of journalistic ethics:

• An area reporter was fired for plagiarizing this year's hackneyed story on the Equinox supper from last year's hackneyed story on the Equinox story.
• A popular FM morning radio host who disappeared from his station's website has been canned.
• A local weekend TV anchor is leaving after less than a year on the job.

I'd try calling people and confirming this stuff, but what the hell, I'm not Mark McGuire. Would you return a phone call to some dope who calls himself Albany Eye?

Attack Of The Killer Toys

NYPIRG: The only thing they love more than jam bands and patchouli oil is ruining the Christmas fun of little children. What else could be behind their annual Trouble in Toyland report? Yes, some of the items they cite, such as toys with tiny pieces, toxic materials, and other obvious hazards are a problem, but Excessively Loud Toys? Come on, kids love loud annoying toys.

Another group on the dangerous toy bandwagon is the Boston based World Against Toys Causing Harm, who among this year's troubled toys list the Fear Factor Candy Challenge, which they describe as:

Pouches containing "spine-chilling spiders", "mystery meat", and a "buzzard buffet", pose a "candy challenge" to children asking: "Is fear a factor for you?" The grotesque buffet, available in the toy aisle, is based upon the television series which sometimes features contestants competing to eat as much as possible in the shortest time.

What do they think we did all day yesterday?

It Pays To Advertise

From the Times Union:

ALBANY -- Six Capital Region women who allegedly used an Internet site and a local alternative weekly newspaper to solicit for prostitution were arrested this week by the Albany County Sheriff's Department.

I don't think they're talking about the PennySaver.

Download This

Podcasting has opened up a whole distribution source for useless crap that nobody wants. This became crystal clear when we learned that the Albany Chamber is offering downloads of audio from recent events they've sponsored. On their website right now, you can listen to the inspirational speech that Jerry Jennings gave at the chamber breakfast on November 14. Give it a listen; it's totally awesome.

In a recent press release, Chamber president Lyn Taylor says, "This will be a fantastic resource for our members and the Tech Valley business community to enjoy our programs at a time and place convenient to them." Thank you Ms. Taylor. Your organization is now officially leading Tech Valley in the generation of stupid ideas.

Same Old Same Old

Well, if it's almost Thanksgiving, so you can expect every local TV newsroom to be doing these stories:

Exit 24: There sure are a lot of people driving somewhere this holiday...

Airport: There sure are a lot of people flying today...

Equinox Dinner: There sure are a lot of people cooking turkeys tonight...

Black Friday Shopping: There sure are a lot of people shopping today...

I'm not saying that they're devoid of any original thought or that they're lazy, instead let us think of these hackneyed stories as a Thanksgiving tradition. You want to be the one to spoil a holiday tradition? Me neither.

Rut Ro...

The helpful folks at Ag and Markets issued a handy press release today to remind New Yorkers of the importance of holiday food safety. It includes this important tip:

Thaw the turkey in the refrigerator at 45 degrees, not on the counter. Thawing at room temperature promotes bacteria growth. Be sure to allow 24 hours of defrosting for each five pounds of turkey.

So, what they're saying is that you should have started thawing that 20 pound turkey three days ago. Ooops.

Eat the Bird

Saratoga Gaming and Raceway has been relentlessly hawking its Thanksgiving Day Feast buffet tomorrow. Hey, why not go to the Racino on Thanksgiving, right? In fact, why not bring the whole family for, "All the traditional turkey dinner fixins' and a $5 gaming voucher for only $17.95 per person!" Not that hungry? Then you can enjoy the $4.95 special in the food court, which includes turkey, mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, and cranberry sauce. What more do you need?

Well, if you ask me, that's just plain wrong.

We're Americans and Thanksgiving is the most American of holidays, so if you want to celebrate Thanksgiving just as the Pilgrims did, you should not go to the stupid Racino...but to Turning Stone. At Turning Stone you will be the guest of the Native Americans, just as our forefathers were on that cold November day so many years ago. Enjoy the hospitality of these noble people, and be sure to stick around for the day's featured entertainment, The Vietnamese Concert. Plus, at Turning Stone, you can play a full range of table games, not just those stupid VLTs . Skip grandma's house tomorrow ---and take this opportunity to say thanks and give a little back to our first Thanksgiving hosts.

Worst Sweeps Disasters of All Time #22

What could it be? Your ENG truck crashes on the way to a story? Your anchor gets arrested for DWI? How about this: a nude picture of your meteorologist shows up on MySpace ---the same meteorologist who earlier this year admitted he was a heroin addict. That's what went down at Roanoke's WSLS this past week, as weather nerd Jamey Singleton was canned after a full frontal pic (edited version shown here) of him popped up on the web and in the general manager's inbox.
Another WSLS meteorologist, Marc Lamarre, overdosed on heroin last February; he later left the station ---and both Lamarre and Singleton were named as witnesses in a federal drug investigation earlier this year. What the hell is wrong with these guys? Can't they do this sh*t in March or September? Better yet, how about July? Nobody looks at that book anyway.

What does this tell us? If those forecasts have you wondering is somebody's been smoking crack, you may be right.

JR's Back

JR Gach, on his website and in an email to Albany Eye, has announced that he's returning to radio. According to a countdown clock on his site, the talk show host will be back on the air on Wednesday, January 3 at 3pm. What it doesn't say is where he'll be on the air.

We can safely say where it won't be. Gach previously worked at Clear Channel's WGY and Galaxy's WCRZ. That leaves several local radio operators who haven't had the JR experience, but there is also speculation that Gach may be going to satellite. Great. More quality radio that you need special equipment to hear. Let's hope not.

Sideways

I don't care if you're putting turkey, turducken, goose, duck, or tofurkey on the table, if you want to be universally adored on Thanksgiving you can't go wrong with Albany Eye's Sweet Potato Crunch. This is guaranteed to be a hit with everyone around the table ---even the pickiest children. It's a rich, creamy souffle-like dish finished with a crunchy pecan topping. It's so good, you could almost have it for dessert. People will insist that you make it again, beg you for the recipe, fight for the leftovers, etc...

Cook's note: DO NOT DARE used canned sweet potatoes; you're making dinner for your loved ones, not the inmates down at Coxsackie.

The Friday File

Engulf and Devour Announces Downsizing
On the same day they revealed an $18.7 merger deal, Clear Channel announced that they're dumping Fox 23 and 41 other TV stations around America. Nobody knows what the sale will mean for WXXA , except that certain general manager types might be looking for a new gig. Regarding their radio operations, the company also said it's unloading properties outside the top 100 markets; this should put to bed persistent rumors that WGY and other local CC stations were on the block. Thank goodness we will still enjoy Clear Channel radio in the foreseeable future.

Reference Department
Everybody loves the turducken. The Business Review did something on Hannaford's turducken launch yesterday, describing the fowl dish like this:

According to Wikipedia, a turducken is a de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken.

Wikipedia? Wikipedia!??!!So now we know where the Business Review researches its stories. It's one thing to use Wikipedia, but citing it as a source is pretty shaky.


Apologia
Yesterday we jokingly called FLY 92 "promotions staffer" Mark Patterson a loser ---actually, I believe we referred to him as, "loser cubed ---or loser to the tenth power". Well now I feel really bad, especially after getting this email from one of his co-workers:

I don’t mean to sound pompous, but obviously you didn’t make it in radio probably because you weren’t willing to sit outside a mall to help out a station promotion. We’ve all been in Mark’s shoes because all of us know we aren’t too good for that.

Yes, that's why I didn't make it in radio. That and my desire to move out of my mother's basement.

All Thumbs

At the three-way intersection of Loser Street, Geek Avenue, and Nerd Boulevard, you'll find a crowd of folks waiting on line to buy a PlayStation 3. If you don't believe me, swing by Crossgates, where people are camped out (camped out!!) to buy the game system at Best Buy when it's released tomorrow. Not everybody's in line to satisfy their own adolescent urge to avoid reality. From the Times Union:

Mark Patterson, a promotions staffer with the WFLY (92.3) radio station, was waiting on line for PlayStation 3 -- but not for the same reason as everyone else. He and co-workers hope to give the system away to a radio station caller.

Whoa....that's like, loser cubed ---or loser to the tenth power or something. Follow all the action from the line at Mark McGuire's blog.

Special Delivery

I got lots of email from people unhappy with all the tasering stuff, so just to prove I'm not heartless, I present the following:

Kudos to Troy record newspaper carrier Lisa Rysedorph for coming to the aid of one of her customers. Jeanne Freeman of Cohoes was injured after falling in her home in late September. She managed to crawl to the front door and signal for help by sticking a broomhandle through the mail slot. Rysedorph noticed something wasn't quite right an summoned help ---and then made entry to the home by kicking in the back door. Freeman told The Record, "She was my little guardian angel. I really believe that she saved my life."

Wow! And I can't get my Times Union carrier to even leave the paper on the front steps!

Get Stuffed

Whooo-Hoooo! Free food alert! Get to Hannaford in East Greenbush or Niskayuna tomorrow between 1pm and 4pm and feast upon turducken! What's turducken? Imagine a boneless chicken stuffed inside a boneless duck stuffed inside a boneless turkey ---and then inside that stuff some stuffing. PR-Meister Mark Bardack invites the media to, "Interview customers and Hannaford spokespersons about the new festive fodder." Yeah, right, right... Where's the turducken?

Taserific!

The readers have spoken.

By an overwhelming margin, Liz Bishop has come out on top of our sweeps tasering survey. As promised, we passed our results on to her boss at CBS 6, news director Beau Duffy:

Dear Mr. Duffy:

Albany Eye is pleased to inform you that Liz Bishop received the most votes in our recent survey, in which asked we asked readers to chose the local anchor or reporter they'd like to see tasered during sweeps. We at Albany Eye believe that this could provide a significant boost to your viewership during this important time and sincerely hope you will soon proceed with the tasering. Best of luck in the ratings war; we are looking forward to your report on the Capital Region's Ten Worst Roads.

The survey wasn't exactly scientific, and leaves us with more questions than answers. For example, Rodger Wyland's performance is impressive considering how much less time he is on the air than Liz Bishop. If we scored on a curve, it's very likely that he would have come out number one. Greg Floyd's results? It's difficult to conclude whether people like him or don't know who he is.

Thanks to everyone who voted, and to Liz Bishop, don't think of it as being shocked, think of it as taking one for the team.

Metroland Blah-g

So, Metroland finally joined the 21st century and got itself a blog. So far, it seems to be extremely boring, except for their sniping at RPI student newspaper Polytechnic Online. The alt-weekly was upset about an Op-Ed piece which had the temerity to suggest that, "Metroland has virtually no audience on our campus." Thank God! I was wondering when someone would take on that confounded RPI student newspaper.

I'd say they could use some blogging lessons from their own Miriam Axel-Lute. Here's a recent posting from her corner of the blogosphere:

I need a tampon for a demonstration at the alternative menstrual products workshop at the Albany Skill Share (which is tomorrow! Come!), but I'd rather not buy a box for the purpose. Anyone local (or coming to the skill share though non-local) want to donate one to the cause?

Now THAT is some interesting blogging. Please send your tampons to Ms. Axel-Lute at Metroland, 419 Madison Avenue, Albany, NY 12210.

Mark Baker for Congress

Local Republicans are freaking out over Sweeney ---and the big question now becomes who they'll run against Gillibrand in 2008. Here's an idea: how about Fox 23 morning news anchor Mark Baker? Baker has loads of campaign experience, having run for congress three times back in Illinois. He may be a newcomer, but what the hell, that didn't stop Hillary Clinton, did it? As far as we know, Baker hasn't beaten up his wife or anything, or showed up in drunken frat pictures, so he already has a big leg up on the guy Wonkette calls Slappin' John McSlappy Sweeney. As far as we know, the worst Baker has done is work as a news anchor, but we're guessing that voters can manage to look past that blemish on his resume.

The Sweet Smell of John Sweeney

Nothing says success like John Sweeney. Local rag Success Magazine made the mistake of choosing Sweeney as cover boy for their November issue, presumably before all that wife beating stuff hit the papers last week. And just what the hell is Success Magazine? Publisher Tom Cronin told the Business Review:

"What we try to do within our articles is interview people and find out how it is they achieve their success and also how they went through the times of highs and lows and adversity to ensure their success."

And why Sweeney?

"I think he is a success story. The fact that he lost in politics is a product of what the nation sees as a problem with the war and personal issues (that Sweeney had) at the tail end."

Hmmmm. Maybe they should consider changing their name to Dumbass Magazine.

Shocking!

Is there a better sweeps stunt than having your reporter shot with a taser gun? I think not. Video like this is priceless when it comes to winning the ratings war, so stop wasting money on all that research and show me one of your people being tasered. That's TV worth watching, my friends.

Just out of curiosity, Albany Eye would like to know who you'd like to see tasered during November sweeps, so be sure to take our exclusive survey in the column to the right We'll share our results with the winner's news director. Write in candidates are very welcome; just email me your picks!

EDITOR'S NOTE: The survey is now complete. Here are the results. Stop looking for it in the column to the right.

The Recycling Report

Finally, someone's found a good use for The Saratogian:

SARATOGA SPRINGS -- Dead fish wrapped in newspaper appeared at the doors of two Saratoga Springs homes around Election Day, Saratoga Springs Police reported Wednesday. Gerard Hawthorne, who lives at 58 Van Dam St., and Linda and Lewis Benton, of 29 Thoroughbred Lane, separately reported finding the fish, said Saratoga Springs Police Lt. Mike Chowske. Hawthorne and the Bentons are all members of Move Saratoga Forward, a group supporting the charter revision. They all believe the incidents are related to the recent debate around the charter revision, which divided residents in the city.

Location Location Location

There are two things you need to know about billboards. First, people should be able to understand your message in an instant. They're driving past at 70 miles per hour, so keep it simple, stupid. The other is that placement is very important. High grades go to the swank Albany bar Noche for scoring on both points this month. Their new board on I-90 does a good job of communicating the drinkery's special style and atmosphere. As for placement, the billboard is just down the road from where Albany Police Detective Ken Wilcox crashed his car on the highway last April ---reportedly after an extended and well-publicized visit to the Broadway bar.

Pardon the poor quality of this picture; I was driving by at 70 MPH when I shot it.

The Day After

Election Night is like Super Bowl Sunday for local TV news, and just as the biggest football game of the year doesn't always live up to the hype, last night's coverage was drearily similar and undistinguished. Everybody will say they won today, but the only station with any real edge was CapitalNews 9. They gave us the same thing everyone else did, except they were on all night long, providing results, live reports, and analysis. None ofthe stations can play the gravitas card either ---and even if they could, it would have been tough to beat CN9's Brian Taffe; hosting Capital Tonight has honed him into a skilled and seasoned anchor who can work (and think) without a prompter.

WAMC and WGY were solid, but WGY deserves special credit for the inspired pairing of Arnold Proskin and Libby Post in the punditry perch. As expected, they were colorful and interesting.

WROW? The highlight of Election Day was Paul Vandenburgh drooling over CapitalNews 9 anchor Julie Chapman yesterday morning. His lecherous verbal pawing was degrading and disgusting; the people at Time Warner should think twice before putting their anchor in a situation where she's treated like a piece of meat.

We Get Results

I went to CapitalNews 9 this afternoon to catch the latest on this most exciting of election days. Did you know that Eliot Spitzer voted at 7am? 7am?!?! I can't wait for that guy to be governor.

Anyway, this ad for Comedy Central's election coverage was what popped up above the fold on CN9's web site ---brilliant placement, thanks to Google's all-knowing media robots, which read your mind to match advertising and web content. What I really like about this is how the 24 hour cable news network ends up running an ad urging people to tune away from tonight's election coverage. That's a really interesting marketing strategy, wouldn't you say?

You can help the folks at Time Warner pay the electric bill by clicking on those ads, but I suppose not watching their election coverage will be somewhat less helpful.

Give It a Pull For Me

Don't forget to vote today.

I'm not going to try to tell you who to select or suggest that one candidate is better than another, but in case you live in the 20th Congressional District, I'd like you to take a long, hard look at the picture to the left and think of it while you're standing there in the polling booth.

Tie One On

There are two people in New York State who wear bow ties. One of them is the goofball on this billboard along 787 ---and the other is Chris Callaghan. Well, nobody's perfect. Since I have a hard time imagining imperious, arrogant Alan Hevesi rubbing elbows with folks at the New York State Trappers Convention, the choice today seems pretty clear.

Can a Voter Get a Table Dance?

What? You haven't seen this spot with Sweeney's wife? This was recorded on the same day the happy couple came out and denied everything, and I must say, Mrs. Sweeney's performance is not convincing. What you see here can best be compared to hostage videos coming out of Iraq, except the people in those are usually a bit more believable. I'm not saying anyone was holding a gun to her head; it would be more appropriate to say there were a pair of meaty hands pointed in her direction.


By the way, what's up with this confusion over Mrs. Sweeney's first name? Is is Gayle or Gaia? As somebody who's been around a bit, I must point out that Gaia sound suspiciously like a stripper name. I must further point out that Mrs. Sweeney bears a striking resemblance to an entertainer who performed at my bachelor party. Further yet, let me state that those red boxers with the yellow starfish on them were my all-time favorite pair of underwear, and I did not appreciate having them cut off of me with a pair of scissors.

Porco Redux

I didn't watch the Porco 48 Hours Mystery episode for the same reason I didn't see Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ: I already knew how it ended.

Notes From The Irish Sports Page

Who even knew that the Times Union had an obituary policy? Paul Grondahl today writes about how the family of 93-year-old Helen Sharpe had to wrangle with the ad department over the politically charged content of her obit. Here's what they submitted:

She left strict instructions that there be no schmaltzy sentimentality of mourning, urging that in lieu of expressions of grief people should send urgent messages to their legislators to force U.S. signing of the Kyoto Protocol, then vote in such a way as to send Bush a strong message of disgust with his policies and politics.

Sales made them change the message of disgust part to this:

...urging that in lieu of expressions of grief, people who wish to remember her continue to support the Kyoto Protocol and oppose the Bush Administration.

What I like about this whole thing is how the editorial side of the paper defied the sales side by getting her complete and unedited message printed anyway. Right on.

Should I suffer some unfortunate fate over the weekend. here's what I'd like in my obit:

Don't vote for wife beaters. The candidates, not the undergarments.

The Friday File

Don Weeks He Ain't
From Mark McGuire's Point of Viewing blog:

WGY "Won’t say where former weekend and weekday host Ed Martin has gone. Sources within the industry say Martin was booted for using a low-grade vulgarity against a caller, a sign of the ridiculous if warranted sensibilities of stations scared blank-less of an FCC fine. WGY bosses won’t comment, saying it’s a personnel matter."

Actually, we read in a local broadcast message board that Martin called the listener an asshole. That's pretty low-grade, but it really is the only way to describe some people, isn't it? Someone on the message board also claims that Martin used the term blowjob during the same broadcast. We think that an asshole gets you a warning and a blowjob gets you a suspended. An asshole and a blowjob during the same show? That, my friend, will get you fired.

Stick It Where The Sun Don't Shine
If you've ever listened to Paul Vandenburgh and wondered what's up that guy's ass, now we know. The WROW morning host spent the better part of Wednesday morning talking about the colonoscopy he'd had the day before. Then on Thursday morning , Vandenburgh had it stuck up his wazoo by Capital OTB. When the WROW morning host showed up for his remote at the OTB Teletheatre, he couldn't get in ---and did the first 15 minutes of his show on the cell phone as he drove back to his Latham studio.

A Class Act
It looks like Dan DiNicola is leaving WRGB at the end of the year. We've always liked DiNicola, who knows how to tell a story far better than a lot of the people you see on local TV these days. Telling a good story is apparently less valuable than being cheap, young, and disposable.

Thank You Sir, May I Have Another?

Months after the end of the trial, the Times Union continues to spank everyone silly on the Porco story. This time they've gotten a sneak peak at Saturday night's 48 Hours Mystery, the one that devotes an entire hour to our favorite ax murder. Mark McGuire went down and watched the thing today at CBS in Manhattan; WRGB had planned to air clips from the show tonight at 11, but the TU beat them to it by posting excerpts of the Chris Porco interview on their web site this afternoon:

Christopher Porco told a CBS reporter that his father's killers are still on the loose. "There is no doubt in my mind. I know they are out there. At this point, I have little confidence that they will ever be caught."

OK, OJ. Meanwhile, even after the TU has spilled the beans, CBS 6 continues to plug their Porco "exclusive" with this lame-ass tease:

Porco talks about everything from the yellow jeep to the timeline that convicted him, to the support of his mother. The revealing words can be heard for the first time on CBS6, Thursday night at 11:00.

Or not. Is it possible to bludgeon someone with a newspaper? That's pretty much what's happened on this story from day one.

Say Anything

John Sweeney has employed what is known in legal circles as The Bart Simpson Defense:

I didn't do it! Nobody saw me do it! You can't prove anything!

Rather than come out all humble and honest about the ugly incident at their home last December, the Sweeneys launched into a mad fit of denial and obfuscation. The interesting thing here is that nobody doubts it's true. If you said that Mike McNulty did something unsavory like this, we'd all say, "No way! Not Mike!" But Sweeney? From the the Times Union:

"The period in question was a stressful period for our family," Sweeney said, adding that health problems may have produced symptoms that were present around the time of the police call. He did not describe the symptoms.

Maybe those symptoms include violent rage against your wife. Or maybe not. It seems more likely that in John Sweeney's view of the world, she was asking for it.

"Here it comes, are you ready?"

The rumors about a violent altercation at the John Sweeney household last December have finally surfaced in the newspapers. For months, local TV and print newsrooms have been trying to get verification that the police visited the Sweeney place on December 2, 2005 ---this after reportedly receiving a call from a woman claiming that her husband was "knocking her around".

Today, the Daily News and the Times Union both have major stories about the incident, which the Sweeney camp has denounced as "a piece of campaign propaganda in the continued smear campaign against Congressman John Sweeney and his family." The Sweeney-ites went on to threaten legal action against any media outlet that "plans to run a story based on this unauthentic, false and concocted document." Among those jumping all over this today, is the Washington political blog Wonkette.

You can read the allegedly concocted document here.

Voters need to ask themselves this next Tuesday: Have the police ever been called to your house because you were having a fight with your wife? If so, John Sweeney may be your man.

Attack of the Angry Orthodontists!

We made mention last week of the Halloween candy buy-back scam program being perpetrated conducted by the orthodontic practice of Drs. Decker, Sbuttoni, Boghosian, DiCerbo and Lawless. Apparently some other media picked up on this ---and not in a good way. Yesterday, the mouth mechanics fired off a nasty press release defending their efforts.

Here are some highlights; you can read the whole thing here:

RESPONSE TO MISREPRESENTATION OF OUR PREVIOUS NEWS RELEASE

Some D.J.s and TV personalities have given their personal opinions that our candy buy back program is just about money, I assume those personalities only have the ability to read certain lines in our press release and this press release is for them. Our practice does buy candy back from children in the area, but we don’t do it just to give them a monetary reward and remove the candy from them, it is to instill a feeling of giving up something you desire to help benefit others.

It is a sad day when the media contributes to ridiculing an event, which was designed to benefit others and help children learn about giving back to the community, and at the same time being rewarded for their sacrifice.

I think they should hunt down those "D.J.s and TV personalities" and wire their mouths shut.