Go Home Sick Day 2006
Pros don't just call in sick, they show up in the morning for a couple of hours, do some work and go home sick. People who call in sick are slackers. People who come in when they're feeling sick are heroes. At about 10:30 tell them that you can't stand it anymore and "go home." Get in the car, drive off, and find somewhere to change your clothes, because this year's destination is the track.
Here's the deal: Flat track flack Mark Bardack sent a release about today's Ninth Annual Battle of the Brews at Saratoga. $20 gets you in the beer tent, where you will sample a variety of tasty microbrews and vote on your favorites. You may need to taste some of them again and again to get the idea. Proceeds benefit the Adirondack Saratoga Chapter of the American Red Cross. Horse races? What horse races?
Just remember one thing: don't get caught. Staying home when you're not sick is one thing; lying about being sick and getting caught at the track is very, very bad. Especially if you're drunk.