Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Rockets Red Glare

Fireworks on TV is like tap dancing on the radio; something important is missing. Nevertheless, Time Warner Cable is once again showing the July 4th fireworks live from the Empire State Plaza. Don't compare this to the video Yule log. The Yule log at least has some kitsch value, but fireworks on TV? That's just completely lame. At most, this could provide a handy threat for misbehaving children: Quit fooling around or I'll make you watch the fireworks on TV instead of going down to the Plaza. That's what I call punishment.

Speaking of fireworks, in my book, Independence Day is not complete without some amateur pyrotechnics. Unless you know a guy who knows a guy, this means taking a little trip to New Hampshire. Just get on Route 7 and start driving until you hit Brattleboro. Cross the river and you're in the land of Live Free Or Die ---or in this case, Where Fireworks Are Legal. Head south to Hinsdale and you'll find Atlas Fireworks or Phantom Fireworks, purveyors of fine explosive devices. Remember: fireworks are illegal in New York, so don't bring any back with you.