Monday, December 12, 2005

Crap and Gown

When you get out of college early (or late) and attend the December graduation, you always get screwed out of having a nice ceremony with a big name speaker. At my graduation, the captain of the forensics team delivered the commencement address and someone played Pomp and Circumstance on an electric piano. Pathetic. If you have any doubt about how bad December graduation sucks, just read this:
The College of Saint Rose will celebrate its 11th annual Midyear Commencement on Saturday, December 17, with a keynote address from Mayor Gerald D. Jennings of Albany.
Maybe Jennings could fish out the famous Sunscreen "commencement speech", the one that was wildly misattributed to Kurt Vonnegut:
Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '97: Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long-term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
He could really make this work.