Saturday, August 13, 2005

Quotes of the Week

Jeanine Pirro:
Do you have page 10?
Paul Vandenburgh on the late Peter Jennings:
Having Peter Jennings anchor ABC news is like having Celine Deion sing the national anthem at the Super Bowl.
Betty Beavers owner Vincent Gramuglia stepped up to defend the brand in The Independent:
As for his Betty Beaver signs, which depict a female beaver with large, three-dimensional breasts and heavy make-up, Mr. Gramuglia said he doesn't see anything wrong. "There is nothing offensive about her," he said. "If you went to Hooters or Victoria's Secret, you'd see more cleavage than Betty Beaver has." Beavers, he noted, are the official state mammal.
And on the same topic, this from Bob Gardinier's hilarious TU story:
"The Dukes of Hazzard wouldn't stoop that low," said Joe Korghage, who lives on Duck Pond Road. "It's not funny at all. It's lewd and indecent and insulting to women."
Women? What about beavers? Finally, Superintendent Harold "Bud" Bresett regarding the recent theft of musical instruments from Moriah Central School:
At the band room, they took $10,000 worth of equipment. They must be woodwind people, because they only took one trumpet.
Insert rim shot here.